By CPA Aboge Priscillah Nyaguthii
The simple but heavily tensed act of waiting for the 2022 general elections presidential results has really
put to test our emotional intelligence. Tuning in to one television channel and your preferred candidate is winning, on moving to another they are losing! At this point you prefer to stay on the channel that is helping you manage and contain your emotions believing that your candidate is winning as confirmed by the channel you are on even though it’s more or less an illusion.
As time passes your channel of choice again starts to display results that conflict your preferences at
which point you settle on another until it is apparent that no channel can give you the sort of assurance and comfort that you want. In days to come a rather harsh reality starts to trickle in and you get calmer, now ready for any outcome, you have reached an awesome level of emotional stability state that whatever outcome is okay.
Try now to perceive a situation that comes out of nowhere and doesn’t give you the luxury of time to be able to internalize and plan on a course of action from a sober perspective, one adequately informed from an emotional intelligent point of view. How would you react? Would you wish that the hands of time went back so you could respond differently? Or would you be at peace with yourself knowing you have
dealt with the situation soberly?
When someone said there’s nothing soft about soft skills, I stand in agreement and join their school of thought. Daniel Goleman an American psychologist states that there are five key elements to emotional intelligence namely: self-awareness, self-regulation, social intelligence, empathy and motivation
Try now to perceive a situation that comes out of nowhere and doesn’t give you the luxury of time to be able to internalize and plan on a course of action from a sober perspective, one adequately informed from an emotional intelligent point of view. How would you react? Would you wish that the hands of time went back so you could respond differently? Or would you be at peace with yourself knowing you have dealt with the situation soberly?
Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation
Emotional intelligence calls for self awareness and self-regulation, knowing your trigger buttons. If politics is a trigger button, then avoid discussing politics (self-regulation), but in situations that you cannot avoid being present, allow others to have their say without your participation “speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant they too, have their story.” The Desiderata. Just being present, listening and restraining yourself from giving your opinions which could be conflicting everyone else’s is mastery at self-regulation especially when the people in the room are deficient of emotional intelligence to grasp and at the same time embrace the concept of different views.
We can agree to disagree and forge forward, stronger, respectfully and with love as friends, as colleagues,
as siblings, as family as employer and employee, as neighbors, as preacher and his/her congregation and in whatever relationship that has brought us together. This calls for emotional intelligence on the part of all parties involved. Carry out a Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats (SWOT) analysis of yourself to gain self-awareness of what you are having in mind that the greatest project you will ever work on is you.
Interpersonal skills and how well a person is able to relate with others and gain the good cooperation of others sets apart those who seek to actualize in their careers, professions and businesses. “Inability to cooperate with others causes more people to lose their big positions and their big opportunities in
life because of this fault than for all other reasons combined. It is a fault which no well-informed business person or leader will tolerate”
Napoleon Hill. This explains why the future employee will not be one with the technical skills but
one in possession of soft skills. Being in possession of soft skills positions an individual to openness to learning, is able to tap into the good cooperation of others and benefit to a large extent from the same. The attitude you carry around will either attract people to you or repel people from you. A socially intelligent person is able to bring people and groups together for the attainment of a common goal. Tapping into the capabilities and talents of each group member, the kind you witness in the making of a movie or a military group.
There is absolutely no room for insecurities of a junior or one of your staff being a smart person
upstairs, the way they dress, the way they carry themselves, their passion, their focus, they got their act together! Emotional intelligence is being able to tap into the skills and abilities of every team member to the realization of the company’s overall objectives. Perceiving that person as a threat rather than an
asset only serves to distract you from the bigger picture.
Especially if your undertaking is a service industry, every person you come into contact with are a representation of the organization of which the latter should be a plus for you and your team. Dr. Wayne Dyer states that networking is so similar to geometric progression. They don’t stop, they keep on growing and growing. That said, our world today is all about networking and a socially intelligent person is able to tap into new networks while continuing to grow and flourish in them. The synergy is undeniable.
The unprecedented times, coupled with turbulent economic times brought about by the Covid-19 pandemic and escalated by the Russia – Ukraine war, have made life tough. We have witnessed previously successful businesses coming down to closure having been unable to navigate through the challenging times, “The
businesses that Covid-19 has killed”. https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/kenya/ article/… Inflation on essential commodities has hit hard on the pockets of Kenyans with a static pay and fixed earnings.
The situation is even tougher in households, the challenges of being able to put food on the table and to meet all basic necessities is no mean feat during tough times like we are witnessing. Emotional Intelligence on the part of managers, supervisors and departmental managers cannot be overemphasized. That their employees have showed up looking all good with an “everything is alright” attitude does not mean they may not be struggling.
Try and put yourself in their shoes and feel their struggles. How would you wish to be treated? Understand that your employee is a father, a mother, a church elder, chairman of Nyumba kumi and according them the respect that they deserve if not for anything else, for the mere fact that they are human beings is very important regardless of what gender the manager or person in authority is. The ability to make
everyone feel important and valued is what emotional intelligence entails.
A socially intelligent person is able to bring people and groups together for the attainment of a common goal.
“Successful leaders must be in sympathy of their followers. Moreover, they must understand them in their problems”. Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill.
A self-motivated person does not walk around blaming the government, for their economic status, their upbringing, for their lack of motivation, their spouse, for their low self-esteem, the bakery for their excess weight and anything else that they can assign blame, Wayne Dyer. They take responsibility for where they
are, make plans for where they want to go and take action to reach where they aspire to be.
It takes emotional intelligence to look at the person staring back at them in the mirror and knowing they are fully responsible for their circumstances, to know that no one is coming to save them other than themselves, taking necessary steps, set plans, go ahead to execute them, celebrate small wins and eventually are able to rise above all the defeating circumstances that held them back.
They continually invest in their personal development, eat healthy, manage their finances and engage in
healthy value adding relationships. Any one aspiring to achieve career growth will need to be in possession
of the aforementioned essential skills. An emotionally intelligent person will have their mind in agreement
with their heart and their heart in agreement with their mind rather than in conflict with each other all the
Who taught you all this, Doctor?”
The reply came promptly:
“Suffering,” – ALBERT CAMUS, the Plague
The writer is an Accountant at Mathenge Technical Institute and Managing Partner: CPA Aboge
Accounting & Consulting.